Wait what just happened….. 

Life has a funny way of teaching you lesson and putting things into perspective for you. It throws curve balls at you and you manage to dodge them, it starts raining then pouring and before you know it you are drowning in an ocean of self pity, so you learn to swim and get yourself out on to dry land. Just when you think that things are going great…..boom a tornado comes by and destroys your entire world.

That’s how I have been feeling for the past year or so, someone near and dear to my heart is fading away. Something that is eating them away slowly, ripping there insides apart ,but somehow they still remain positive and optimistic about life. It all started with a doctors visit for something minor then it turned into a storm and before we knew it, this was a hurricane, no one could keep under control.

After we all heard the news he was the only one that remained strong and positive  about life. He didn’t let that news stop him from continuing to live his life, he didn’t stop doing what he always loved to do. Even though his body didn’t allow him to be as active as before the diagnosis he still got out there and lived life. A little thing called cancer wasn’t going to stop him, he is a fighter, a warrior and my hero.

My favorite memories of my childhood are waking up early in the morning and walking outside with a cup of coffee ( yes I drank coffee as a child) and watching him milk his cows. We would go to the mountains and check on his cattle, the late nights in the corral feeding the animals and getting life lessons while covered in mud and cow poop will always remain close to my heart. He grew up in a small town where everyone is very traditional, women stay in the kitchen and men outside, type of town. Well, if you know me the kitchen hasn’t always been my favorite place to be and at a very young age I was a very outspoken feminist. He encouraged me to tag along with him and do things that only the boys did (according to society). He always treats people equally no matter what background you come from or what gender you are. That is one of the many things that I admire about him the most.

He would wake up at the crack of dawn milk his cows, feed his cattle and horses then he would go open his little store until his wife would come take over. He then would go to the mountains and check on his livestock. Never once did I hear him complain that he wished he had more in life. He is a stand up man, always helping those in need, many children from his small town lived with him and his family. Some were escaping their troubled home life others were left without parents and he gave them a home. He had six kids of his own to feed but never denied a hot meal and a warm bed to anyone in need.

He made me realize that success isn’t measured by the amount of stuff you own, or by the dollar sign in your bank account. No one is going to care that you had that expensive car or that you only bought name brand purses. No one is going to get up at your funeral and say ” she had really nice shoes”, no, they will remember the person you were, your character not your truck or your wheels. All of that means nothing.

In a weird way this helped me realize that life is really short and when you least expect things to happen they do, I never would of thought that cancer would come into my family and eventually take away the person that helped me become who I am today. He played a big part in my life, he helped mold me into the bad ass that I am today. He didn’t have to take that role, he didn’t have to be that involved in my life but I am so glad he chose to raise me like I was his own daughter.

 

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“Don’t waste your whole life working, its a good thing to have something for a rainy day, but money isn’t everything. Travel, go see the world, spend time with your family, spend lots of time with them. ” I spend my whole life working, I wish I could have taken your grandma to the beach, I wish I could have spend more time with my family.”-Jose Manuel Ramos

 

 

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