Dear new mom

To the mother who feels her body failed her, because her birth plan didn’t go as she hoped it would, and she had to have her baby physically cut out of her from her body via surgery.  You are just as strong as the mother that pushed and pushed to bring her baby into the world, you did not take the easy way out, and you are just as much a warrior as the mom who gave birth naturally. To the mother who feels she failed her baby when she decided to bottle feed her baby, to the mother who gave in and bought that formula in the middle of the night when your baby was screaming of hunger, you are not a bad mother. To the mother who gave into screen time when you needed to get ready for work in the morning or you just needed a few minutes to yourself, you are not a bad mother. To the mother who went to counseling because she was so overwhelmed with fears and guilt, you are not a bad mother.

I am that mother; I had a C-Section, gave into the convenience of formula, turned on the TV when I needed to get ready in the morning, and went to counseling for postpartum depression and I am a darn good mother. We don’t talk about the hard times of motherhood, and if a new mother expresses her feeling there is this stigma of you not loving your child or you not enjoying motherhood. Having a C-Section is brutal, I felt that my body failed to do the one thing that should come so natural to me, and no one talks about the guilt associated with having a C-Section.  After a failed attempt at a natural delivery ,I failed once more at breastfeeding and caved into formula when my child was screaming of hunger. Then theses little feelings kept creeping up and wouldn’t go away, they kept getting louder and louder to the point that you couldn’t sleep and couldn’t function. So you seek help and you are so ashamed that you don’t want to let anyone know you don’t love this motherhood journey as much as you thought. There is nothing wrong with you and you do love motherhood, and there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling.

I am here to tell you that you are not a bad mother, it is okay to have all these feeling and that doesn’t make you a bad mother, that doesn’t mean you don’t love your child with every inch of your body. I am here to tell you it is okay and you are an amazing mamma so turn on baby shark and eat a cupcake!

Love ,

Joanna Hernandez

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